


Bump in the Night

by Dakoyone



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen, Happy halloween, Humor, bartrand's estate, fuck that house, haunted quest, silliness, spooky stuff, that house tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 06:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16470563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dakoyone/pseuds/Dakoyone
Summary: The Champion of Kirkwall was certainly one of the finest examples of bravery the city had ever seen, but for every heroic deed there is always an equal and opposite story, or rather, a not-so-shining moment.





	Bump in the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net 10/31/13
> 
> I figure since it's Halloween, it's about time I published it here too.

Marian Hawke stood before the doors of the estate, Varric coming up beside her with Fenris and Anders trailing behind. She squared her shoulders before lifting and dropping the knocker...

One.

Two.

Three times.

"Well," Marian beamed, "everything certainly seems normal around here. Let's just head back to the Hanged Man and-"

She breezed past Varric, but Fenris caught and held her back by the scruff of her collar. "A bit skittish tonight, Hawke?"

"Who? Me?" Marian chuckled weakly. "Nonsense. What's there to be skittish about? There's absolutely nothing to be skittish over." The wind picked up around them, whistling ominously through the cracks in Kirkwall's crumbling architecture. What sounded like a whimper rose from the back of her throat. "That was not me. That was the wind."

"Come on, Hawke," Varric groused, "the sooner we finish here, the sooner we can leave."

"But...I'm thirsty-"

" _Now_ , Hawke!"

Fenris shoved her forward ahead of him and Anders, neither commenting when she clutched at the doorframe before being dragged in the rest of the way by a disgruntled dwarf.

"But...I...I think I need to pee. Can we stop by the loo?"

The door creaked shut behind them.

"If I didn't know any better, Hawke, I'd think that you're scared," Varric smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Scared? Varric, I'll remind you that I am the Champion of Kirkwall. Nothing can ever  _truly-_ Andraste's tits! Did you see that? That vase over there, it just moved," she pointed over at the questionably stationary vase, turning to face her companions with wide eyes.

Fenris squinted but shrugged, "No, Hawke. We didn't see anything."

Varric and Anders grinned at him, both of them catching onto the elf's game. "Oh," the woman blinked, bemusement coloring her features. "Well then, let's carry on."

They entered an expansive library, where all of the furniture was busy rearranging themselves. "Alright. No...hah, I'm done. You boys have fun," Marian turned on her heel.

"Oh, no, you don't." Anders grabbed her around the waist, causing her to squawk loudly in protest as she scratched her fingernails against the nearest walls and doors, even going as far as latching her teeth into the wooden threshold as they passed through the library and into an inner corridor.

Doors all around then slammed shut at once, the lights dimmed, and a scream was heard somewhere further in. When the room brightened up once more, Hawke was found clutching at Varric's neck, held up in his arms before the dwarf even realized it.

"Ancestor's beard, Hawke," he muttered before dropping her unceremoniously on her bum. "Get it together."

"I was startled," Marian pouted as she got back up on her feet. Two apparitions floated by, one passing right through her body, their ghostly moans echoing after them. "Oh, eww…" Marian groaned and shuddered, hopping lightly in hopes to shake off the odd sensation. It felt a lot like stepping on a large cockroach with your bare foot, the kind that goes crunch and squishes between your toes, except...bigger.

"You'd think that after having gone into the Fade and dealing with all sorts of demons that a couple of wandering spirits here would be nothing," Anders teased.

"Oh, shut up."

How ridiculous. The house wanted them to check every other room first before finally unlocking the door leading to the main hall. It wasn't as if there was anything worth looking for in the other rooms...not that Marian was actively looking for trouble. Nope, indeed.

Ahh, but this was familiar. Ethereal golems and shades... _My favorite_ , Marian sighed in relief as the group formed up and took action. She thought of whistling along while they worked but ultimately decided against it. After their opponents were dealt with and the matter of the stray piece of idol summarily handled, Marian glanced around, nodding to herself.

"I suppose that's it then," she said. "It certainly was easier than I thought it would be. We should do this more often. Why don't we do these kinds of things more often, Varric?"

Fenris, who was standing behind her and was therefore not within her line of sight, took hold of a nearby vase and flung it against a wall. Marian shrieked and bolted out of the estate, the men's laughter following after her.

End


End file.
